The other day I was walking through one of the seating areas of the hotel that adjoins our building, and I noticed a woman sitting on the floor, doing something on her iphone. Her stature reminded me of my sister and when she looked up I thought for just a second it was my sister. You know how when that happens you quickly calculate the likelihood of that person being who you think they are, and at the same time get a closer look, as close as you can before they look weirdly at you? Well, in that second I figured out that no, it was very unlikely to be my sister, and verified that this woman actually was not my sister.
And then, on the rest of the way to the metro, I felt sad. I couldn’t figure out why, but I knew it had something to do with my non-encounter with this non-sister. I had a pang deep inside. Because now I am in a city where there isn’t even a chance that some miscellaneous person I meet could be my sister, or mom, or dad. I won’t be randomly seeing people I want to see at the grocery store or mall. Any visit from anyone requires thinking, planning, conversations, and money.
Another thing that is wearing on me right now is that I have no girlfriends here; you know, the kind you can call up randomly and go for a cup of coffee with, or have someone shop with you to tell you that that blouse isn’t flattering or stylish, or go to a movie with. I’m starting to get into a rhythm with the kids and organizing our week (like, we need to be gone on Monday to make it easier for the maid to clean) and balancing formal school work with nature treks and museum trips, so I feel this great desire for a spontaneous friend. But all my pals that I used to rely on for that sort of thing are in Houston, going on with their lives.
I know I really don’t have much to complain about, I mean, truly life here is fabulous. But I am complaining. Because I miss my friends and family. And the distance and time between visits will only grow longer. And knowing that that distance is there is what’s hard right now.
Pardon me while I sob.